left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
