well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Randomize
