Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
