There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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