Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
