Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
