Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
