just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
