My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This girl is more easily done than said...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
