Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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