Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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