Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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