so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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