he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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