At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
