i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
