so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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