I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
