she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
