i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
