it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
