dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
