feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
They took my balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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