hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
