I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
