just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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