I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
