He is an equal opportunity slut.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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