I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
