The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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