Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
