Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
