Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
