Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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