I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think people are normalizing furries
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
