you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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