idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
