is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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