she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We talked him into tasing himself.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
