with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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