"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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