that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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