GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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