Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he was CRYING into my vagina
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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