My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
