You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
