Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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