Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
