Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my being single is dangerous.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
