Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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