I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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