I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
