i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
