I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize