I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
