An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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