Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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