I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
