I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
