I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
