is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
